Thursday, October 29, 2009


Happy Halloween, boys and girls, moms and dads! Because it's that spooky time of year, and there are lots of witches, goblins, and bogeymen out there, I thought I had better warn you about some of the worst ones. After all, I want you to enjoy only treats this Halloween, and not have to experience any bad tricks. So here are some of the biggest, baddest, bogeymen I know...

This first bogeyman is a mean one. He, John Boehner, never has a kind word to say about the President, and he loves big corporations and campaign donors far more than regular people. He wants to hold you and the rest of the country tight to keep anyone from moving forward even an inch. He is evidently scared petrified of the real world, judging from the amount of time he spends in the tanning booth. He doesn't care how many people go bankrupt paying medical bills, so long as the health insurance companies, pharmaceutical giants, and he are all making lots of money. This is a ghoul to avoid following at all costs.

Next is CNN's Lou Dobbs. This guy is a real sneaky bogeyman who can fool you with his many masks. One is his populist mask, which he wears when he wants to make you think he really cares about workers and poor people. While wearing it he claims to be pro-labor, but he constantly criticizes liberals, progressives, and other strong pro-labor groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center, which he absolutely hates. His "independent" mask belies the fact that he is a closet Republican who features a heavy dose of conservative Republican and right of center Democrats on his show, proving his conservative bias. Look out for this spooky bogeyman: you'll never know which mask he'll be wearing.

Stephen Helmsley is this nasty bogeyman's name, and his title is CEO of United Health Group, one of the country's largest health insurance companies. He is so rich he makes more than DOUBLE IN ONE HOUR what the average American worker makes in an entire YEAR. How did he get so rich? By taking your money in as premium payments and then either not paying your claims, or by booting you off your policies once your medical treatment becomes too expensive. Republicans like this bogeyman and want to protect him from government regulation. Republicans are bogeymen too.

Here is Karen Ignagni, the wicked witch of the east. She doesn't care if you are sick and can't afford health care because she's too busy making sure the health insurance companies stay healthy making lots of money, and even lies to Congress with made-up horror stories about single-payer health care so that Congress will vote against health care reform. She faithfully does the bidding of evil men like the one above.

Now here is an especially nasty bogeyman to look out for: Bill O'Reilly. This is a very angry man who likes to shout people down. He makes up a lot of what he shouts about. If he doesn't like you, he'll send out other bogeymen and goblins called Fox producers, cameramen, and soundmen to stalk and try to embarrass or intimidate you. (He sends those others out because he's too cowardly to follow you around himself).

Now this is a REALLY mean and scary bogeyman! His name is DICK Cheney, and he doesn't listen to ANYBODY because he thinks he's always right. He likes to start wars because he's afraid of the rest of the world and because giving non-bid military contracts to his rich business friends makes them even richer. He lies like a rug, and many believe him to be Satan's best friend. VERY scary!

This is Rush Limbaugh, and he just might be the meanest and nastiest bogeyman on this whole page! You can hear him yelling from the radio all the time, but you won't want to, because all he ever says are bad things about blacks, football players, liberals, and the President. You can recognize him by the slurps and gasps and growls he makes, and by the stinky smell coming out of your radio. He is a bogeyman to avoid at all costs!

This bad and scary bogeyman believes things that aren't at all true and then tries to scare you with them and make you believe in them too. He tells mean lies about the President. His name is Glenn Beck and he will scream at you and rant and rave and sometimes even cry from the TV set. But his crying is fake, so don't believe it for a minute. He is crazy, so look out for him, and stay away from him for sure, just like a lot (62) of his former advertisers now do!

This might be the scariest one of all, especially for you kids. She's Michelle Malkin of Fox "News". If she thinks you ever got government assistance because you were sick, or if she doesn't like you, she'll publish your name and address so other bad bogeymen can find you and bother you and scare you, too. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

These are by no means all the witches and bogeymen to watch out for; just some of the worst. There are many, many more, so be careful...



Infidel753 said...

Boehner and O'Reilly definitely look like members of the undead in those photos. Ignagni looks like she's beginning some sort of werewolf tranformation.

I'd rather vote for the one in the first picture at the very top.

Jack Jodell said...

Great comments, Infidel753! LOL! I'm with you! :)

Oso said...

Great Halloween post man.
Each and every one scary and disgusting in their own twisted way.

They way they can lie repeatedly without any trace of a conscience or morals.As if there is not trace of humanity or decency,or fair play within then. Malkin is truly awful,and Limbaugh..but then you look at Cheney. O'Reilly.

Why,why do people follow and listen to these dirtbags? Why not read books and research things,the foreign press,search blogs for consistency then follow those that reflect reality. It's not hard, I do it and anyone who knows me knows I'm no rocket scientist.

I try to reason with their followers,I use facts and neutral sources to prove my points-and they STILL won't believe what I tell them.

Hope no one wearing a Malkin or Beck mask show up at my house trick or treating.

Jack Jodell said...

Thanks, Oso.
I, too, am baffled as to why these people have any following or are taken seriously by anybody. Their America is a country of authoritarianism, absolutism, hatred, intolerance, selfishness, self-righteousness, and ignorance. These people are hopeless ideologues whose only precepts for right and wrong are their own. I do not understand or recognize their America. It is not the one I have known all along. I honestly believe these far-right extremists have completely lost their minds...

TRUTH 101 said...

You have to remember that authoritarian,selfish, hateful, intolerant, self righteous, ignorant idealogues are very loud Jack. Their volume makes it seem like there are more of them.

It's like the tea partiers in Washington DC. Although there were around 60 to 70 thousand, they were so loud FOX News thought there were a million of them.

Marc McDonald said...

Right-wing nutcase Mark Levin is the scariest radio host I've heard yet.
His screaming, unhinged rants are truly surreal---particularly with his creepy voice.
I remember during the dark days of the Bush years, Levin used to gleefully defend torture, day after day.
What's odd is that this is the same radio host who claims that he is a "Constitutional scholar."
One thing I WILL give Levin credit for, though, is his sustained level of white-hot anger.
Where in the f*ck is OUR white-hot anger on the Left?
Why is it that only the right-wing crazies are angry?
The right-wingers have had it their way on virtually every issue since 1980 and THEY'RE the ones who're angry??? It doesn't make sense.
Anyway, another thing that makes Levin scary is his vast audience. It's one thing to rant and rave like a crazy person on a street corner---it's quite another for such a lunatic to have a microphone that reaches millions of people across the nation.

Jack Jodell said...

Very good point, Truth 101. Their volume is an illusion they perpetuate. Let's hope independent voters see through their obstructionist ruse in 2010 and realize all these conservatives are shouting is empty hot air.
Thanks for the reminder about Levin. He is SO scary I put him out of my mind altogether!

I think we have to remember that self-centered people are ALWAYS angry and never satisfied. When they get a little, they want and demand more. Many of these far-right types are unhappy, insatiable misfits who are insecure and paranoid by nature, and therefore become so absolutist and intolerant. They go to irrational lengths, much like very spoiled little children having gigantic temper tantrums.

We on the left show our anger and frustration in a more civilized way, through discussion and the ballot box. We do not share the paranoia or parochialism of those on the right. Whether rich or poor, we are more content and balanced, and far more rational. That is why our anger seems less visible, although it does bubble up as it should, in Congress, through reasoned and principled people like Dennis Kucinich, Alan Grayson, John Murtha, Barbara Boxer, Al Franken, and others. I prefer our approach, and I'm sure you do, too. It is every bit as deep as those on the right, but it is dealt with and expressed in a far saner fashion.

Stimpson said...

I'd say you saved the two scariest for last. Malkin is a twisted stalker with a seething, xenophobic hatred. Beck is a paranoid freak on the verge of a complete breakdown, and there's no telling when he lash out and at whom.

Stimpson said...

er ... "when he *will* lash out"

Jack Jodell said...

Right on. Those last two are both twisted. Beck bears a resemblance to the silent-era comedian Fatty Arbuckle (only he's not funny), and he looks and dresses like he could have been hanging around with Ozzie and Harriet Nelson back in the early '50s. He would have undoubtedly been one of Sen. Joe McCarthy's best red-baiting friends back then, too...

Ranch Chimp said...

Heh,heh,heh,heh,heh ...Nice lil bunch! :) Happy Halloween Mr.Jodell!

Jack Jodell said...

Thanks, Ranch Chimp! And the same to you. Watch out for those meanies tonight!

phil said...

Grrrr, they're all so creepy!

Max's Dad said...

I would separate them into the following sub-categories:
1) substance abusers (Boner, Limbaugh, Dobbs)
2) souless bastards (Helmsley Ignani Cheney)
3) clowns (Beck O'Reilly)
4) lottery babies (Malkin)
Of course they all fall under the primary category of EVILdoers. Karma is a bitch as they say. All will not end well for any of them. My Halloween was fine until I saw that gallery of miscreants! Thanks Jack!

Jack Jodell said...

Sorry for the scare, Max's Dad. You did a great job of categorizing them, though. Too bad we can't just shove them all into the closet now until NEXT Hallowwen, isn't it? :)