Friday, October 23, 2009
WHAT THIS COUNTRY REALLY NEEDS...
Thomas R. Marshall, Vice President under President Woodrow Wilson, was a colorful and witty man, slightly irreverent at times. Once, while presiding over the Senate, a Kansas Republican Senator by the name of Joseph L. Bristow was babbling on and on (as Senators often do) about a long list of things he felt the country needed at that moment. As Bristow droned on, Vice President Marshall leaned over to some nearby law clerks and said, in a voice just loud enough to carry across the Senate floor, "what this country needs is a really good five cent cigar," which caused the chamber to erupt into laughter. I'm not sure if Marshall or Bristow ever got all they wanted back then, but I do know there are a number of things this country sorely needs today, and I have listed a good many of them below.
* MILLIONS OF GOOD-PAYING NEW JOBS HERE TO REPLACE THE MILLIONS OF GOOD-PAYING JOBS WHICH WERE SHIPPED OVERSEAS OVER THE PAST 10 YEARS? *
A really good $15 box seat at a Major League Baseball game, and a big, delicious $2 hot dog once you're there (instead of the 3-5 times that price we're paying now)?
* Sarah Palin to get a new, better-looking hairstyle and go, along with her entire family, into a deep freeze?
* ALL OUR MEN AND WOMEN TO COME HOME FROM IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN?
* Saltine crackers that can be snapped, like they used to be able to be, without crumbling into fragments the moment you pick them up?
* COMPLETE HEALTH CARE COVERAGE FOR ALL CITIZENS AT A RATE THAT DOESN'T BANKRUPT THEM?
* The rich to get poorer, and the poor and middle class to get richer?
* Fox "News" to go out of business and off the air (or at least to stop distorting and exaggerating, and start telling the truth)?
* Gas at $2 per gallon where it belongs, and no higher?
* Al Qaeda, fundamentalist Muslims, and fundamentalist Christians to crawl out of the Dark Ages and into this 21st Century?
* Corporations to stop buying out individual Congresspersons?
* Republicans to grow a heart and stop thinking only of themselves and big business?
* Hour-long TV shows with only 10 minutes commercial time per hour (like it was many years ago)?
* DICK CHENEY GOING ON TRIAL FOR WAR CRIMES?
* An outstandingly tender and delicious $20 steak dinner with mashed potatoes, gravy, and veggie or salad (and I'm not talking dried-out surloin, either!)?
* Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck all getting permanent laryngitis?
* Automobiles routinely averaging at least 50 mpg highway and 35 mpg city (and I'm not talking about little lightweight tin cans, either!)?
* An outstanding $2 bottle of beer?
I'm sure all the rest of you can mimic old Senator Bristow and come up with a number of other suggestions as to what this country needs right now. How about it, readers?