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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

STADIUM OF THE ABSURD

"The Theatre of the Absurd has renounced arguing about the absurdity of the human condition; it merely presents it in being..."
- Martin Breslin -

"Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons."
- Rush Limbaugh -




This week brought us the unbelievable news that mouthy ultra-conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh had made a bid to buy the National Football League's St. Louis Rams franchise.

Considering the fact that over 2/3 of NFL players are African-Americans and that Limbaugh has made numerous offensive racial statements over the years, his move took on an almost surreal air about it. I mean, how preposterous can one get?

Negative reaction was almost immediate, with one black player even stating he would never play even one down on a Limbaugh-owned team. I can't blame the player one bit for feeling that way.

The idea of Rush Limbaugh actually becoming an NFL franchise owner is so absurd, in fact, that it brings a number of thoughts to mind:
1). Would he immediately change the name of the Rams' Edward Jones Dome to "Conservative Quarters Stadium"?
2). Would he hand out far-right propaganda to every spectator before each game?
3). Would he put only white players out on the field?
4). Would halftime consist of videos of his crazy rants and raves?
5). Would he hire Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Carrie Prejean, Gretchen Carlson, Ann Coulter, and Michelle Malkin as permanent cheerleaders? (Bring your eggs and rotten tomatoes, fans).
6). Would his players deservedly gang tackle him and break every bone in his miserably fat blubbery body before he could make his way to his private owner's booth?
7). How many eggs and rotten tomatoes could bystanders lob at his limo as he would drive to and from the stadium for games?
8). Would a portion of each ticket's proceeds go directly to the Republican Party?

Some things are just too bizarre or obscene to be allowed to come to reality, and Rush Limbaugh owning the St. Louis Rams is just one of them...

What the Rams' stadium should look like at game time if Limbaugh bought the team: no players, no refs, and no fans.
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On a completely different topic, but one that is vitally important, please visit Nancy Hanks' fabulous blog, The Hankster, at http://grassrootsindependent.blogspot.com/ for informational posts on how our pathetic mainstream media is neglecting serious coverage on the important and sizable independent voters bloc as it sizes up next year's midterm elections. These elections could very well make or break our chances of enacting progressive, for-the-people-and-not-the-corporations legislation.
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11 comments:

SJ said...

@Jack,
strange times indeed.
-And people complain about the Steinbrenners.
-SJ

TomCat said...

Jack, with those cheerleaders, they'd have to hand out barf bags at the door!!

I think the players' union will object most forcefully.

mud_rake said...

Great post! Who can imagine the Rush as CEO of a pro football team? His inbred-negativity would insure a losing season year after year.

Jack Jodell said...

SJ,
Loudmouthbaugh would make the Steinbrenners look like angelic choirboys!
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TomCat,
Barf bags? Haaaa---you're hilarious! Add Liz Cheney to that crew and they'd have to hand out Depends too!
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mud_rake,
I think Rush's team would end up making last year's Lions look like Super Bowl champs. Maybe we'd see Rush's team go winless for a full decade! 0-160 would be better than he would deserve!

Max's Dad said...

Rush Limbaugh's St Louis Rams took the field today led by QB Elizabeth "Matt" Hasselbeck in a game agianst Ziggy's Minnesoat Vikings. By running only to the right,the Rams offense found itself running out of bounds constantly. The Ram defense refused to move to the left allowing Viking Adrian Peterson to rush for 1250 yards in a 186-0 rout. Limbaugh blamed the media for reporting the score and claimed the Rams actually won the game of ideas. Millions of dittoheads flooded the NFL office with death threats and accused the NFL of a liberal bias in scorekeeping. Team announcer Glenn Beck cried over the win.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

He's desperate for some kind of 'Legitimacy'....is my take. My pal, the famous TLH tells me he shaves his legs. And reeks of cologne. Poor gal has had to teleprompt him in West Palm. I wonder why he shaves his legs? He's not a wrestler, nor FB player....????

Good post, per usual, Jack!!!

Jack Jodell said...

Max's Dad,
Very clever, creative, and humorous comment! Bravo, and the more tears Beck sheds, the better!
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Gwendolyn,
He looks like the kind of guy who would reek of cologne! As far as shaving goes, I'd love it if he shaved his larynx once in a while! LOL!

Stimpson said...

I don't know about a football field, but I'll bet he'd love to get Bachmann, Prejean and Malkin in one room - if only in hopes of make that Penthouse Forum letter he wrote come true. "Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought this could happen to me ..."

Limbaugh being pleasured in a foursome. There's an image you'll have trouble getting out of your head.

You're welcome.

Jack Jodell said...

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! True pornography, as obscene as it can be!
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NEWS FLASH! It turns out the investor group which Limbaugh was a part of that wants to buy the Rams has now booted him out---HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Infidel753 said...

Considering the fact that over 2/3 of NFL players are African-Americans and that Limbaugh has made numerous offensive racial statements over the years, his move took on an almost surreal air about it.

Well, in the "good old days" the flabomination would have been able to "own" some black people straight out, but in the 21st century, this is as close as he can get.....

TomCat said...

If you're adding Liz, you need to add Dead-eye too. :-)