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Thursday, April 1, 2010

TIME FOR A CHANGE!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, folks. Talking to some old friends this past week, it finally dawned on me: I've been holding on to some flawed assumptions and bad ideas for a long time now. What I present here today may come as a bit of a shock to you, because it's different from what I have been presenting for some time. It may seem as a sudden and abrupt change, because most of my posts are prepared a number of weeks in advance, but this one is a "fresh" one. So here goes...


Let's be honest here. Our country is still in terrible shape, more than a year after Barack Obama took office with a large Democratic majority. So far, very little has been accomplished, other than a pledge to close Guantanamo which hasn't been met, and the passage of a health care bill that I now realize will benefit huge insurance companies more than any of us. Main Street has not benefitted from any of the government's initiatives this past year. Only Wall Street has. The President and his party have saddled us and future generations with debt, overtaxed businesses don't have the money to upgrade or hire new people, federal regulation actually is crippling small business, and millions of our countrymen are imprisoned by unemployment, with no real relief in sight. With Barack Obama, we didn't really get change - only hyperliberalism that has done nothing for anybody EXCEPT WALL STREET. It is time for a change. No, I have not developed a brain tumor or lost my mind, but I have now reached some new conclusions. Please hear me out about this: the Republicans may actually have a valid point in some of their arguments. Please read on - you'll better understand where I'm coming from as we go along...

I have been restlessly channel-surfing of late, and I have discovered that many of the beliefs I once held no longer apply. Having done extensive research into the 9/11 attacks and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, as well as to the true nature of radical Islamic fundamentalism, I now understand that the pre-emptive military action we took was absolutely right. I mean, WE WERE ATTACKED, people! Such an attack must never happen again, and we should do everything in our power to make sure one never does. I never thought I'd ever say it, but I now feel terrible about having called George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld war criminals. They were actually patriotic American heroes to respond to 9/11 as quickly and thoroughly as they did!

Laugh if you will, but I have been watching a lot of Fox News lately, particularly Glenn Beck. I was so impressed by one recent segment that I actually phoned Fox News and was lucky enough to get to speak with him DIRECTLY! I explained that I was a (formerly) left-leaning blogger who had now seen the light, and I complimented him on his vision and deep concern for the well-being of our country, as well as the extensive research and deep thought he puts into what he presents on his show. He mentioned he was familiar with my blog (imagine THAT!), and that he was delighted at my change of heart and outlook. HE EVEN INVITED ME TO APPEAR ON HIS SHOW and that segment will air MAY 3! I am no longer a Glenn Beck skeptic, and I know beyond all doubt he genuinely loves this country, and that his tears of concern for it are real.

During the taping for the May 3 Glenn Beck show, I actually got to meet Sarah Palin! She amazed me with her friendliness and charm. She explained how the mainstream media has mistaken portrayed her as a mindless buffoon, and she amazed me with the wide amount of historical, geographical, and political knowledge she really DOES have...I even learned things from HER! I now know I was mistaken about her, too, and I realize she is very much the concerned-for-her-family-and-loves-America person she has always claimed to be. I co-taped a brief segment with her, too, and I am uncertain as to when that will air, but air it will and I'll keep you posted!


I also had the chance to actually meet Rush Limbaugh recently, too. We were on the same plane and conversed nonstop for nearly two hours. The man is fascinating! He tends to get excitable and spout off from time to time, but deep down inside, he is a very warm and caring man. He also has a tremendous sense of humor. I'm sure if any of you had the chance to meet him, you would like him a great deal, as I now do. Poor Rush. He is suffering so much from his chronic back condition, that it, along with irresponsible spending by the President and Congress, causes him to constantly grimace and seem like a mean-spirited sort. But he really and truly is a very nice guy. MAN ALIVE---have I been wrong about a lot of stuff and people for the past few years!!!Please scroll down and you'll see documentation on what I've been saying here so far...
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APRIL FOOLS'! You have been punked, my friends! Not one word of what I have written up to here for this post is true: In fact, while writing this, it's all I could do to keep from alternately howling with laughter and vomiting. I do NOT prepare my posts weeks in advance: 99% of them are written fresh on the day they're posted. I am still convinced beyond all doubt that conservative Republicans ruined our economy and that their obstructionism has greatly slowed our recovery. I still firmly and correctly believe Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld are indeed war criminals and should be tried for their crimes; I NEVER met Beck, Palin, or Limbaugh, and I hope I never do! BLECCCHHH!!! This post, just like Fox "News" and statements made by conservative Republican congresspersons and talk-show jockeys, has been composed of one lie after another! So lower your blood pressure, my friends---I remain opposed to conservative Republicanism, and I steadfastly support the progressive cause, as I have always done! I still support a universal, single-payer health care system and increasing taxes on the top 2 or 3 tiers of our income-earners while reducing them for everybody else! I still champion environmentalism and MUCH more oversight on Wall Street and huge corporations!

Hope you've had a good spoof, my friends, and will remember THIS April Fools' Day for years to come! HAPPY EASTER, EVERYBODY, AND NOW LET'S KEEP WORKING TO ENSURE A GIGANTIC TEABAGGER/REPUBLICAN DISAPPOINTMENT THIS FALL! :-) :-) :-)!


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UP NEXT (TOMORROW): "GROWING PAINS: A LOOK AT OUR VANISHING FAMILY FARMS (Part I)"

14 comments:

Holte Ender said...

Some creatures change their color ot their spots with the seasons. Not Jack the Leopard.

Jack Jodell said...

That's right, my friend---I've been a progressive liberal since my eyes were opened politically in high school, and I'll ALWAYS remain so!

Mycue23 said...

Very nice, Jack. It didn't even cross my mind that today was April fools day. Haven't been gotten that well since Sid Finch.

Urban Pink said...

OMG, I hadn't visited your blog before and it wasn't until you started about Glenn Beck that I started to suspect it was a joke!

Jack Jodell said...

Mycue23,
Sorry to have alarmed you, my good friend. Rest assured, I'm still the same guy on the same wavelength as before.
---------------
Urban Pink,
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you'll do so again. Yeah, it was a joke---Beck, Limbaugh, Palin, Giuliani, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Bush, et al are nauseating. You're pretty sharp to have figured out the hoax by the time you got to the Beck part! :-)

amadmike1 said...

LOL! I must confess you made me a little nervous Jack, until you confirmed by basic suspicions, i.e. April Fool! Fun read man.

TomCat said...

You had me hooked for about a paragraph. This morning I told a gal I know that I am psychic and that she is pregnant. She actually bought it. :-)

Jack Jodell said...

madmike1,
LOL---I'm glad you were suspicious. Who says we males don't have good intuition too?
---------------
TomCat,
Psychic or not, you are hilarious and very perceptive! Glad you caught on right away!

TRUTH 101 said...

While I was not fooled for a second, my nature required me to read the entire thing Jack. I usually resd eveyone's posts twice before commenting or not. It did succeed in pissing me off even though I knew you were BS'ing us.



I read the bottom part again. I'm ignoring my rule and not reading the rest again.

Max's Dad said...

I knew you were way too intelligent to turncoat on us, but when you said you were on the same plane as Limbaugh, I figured it was April Fools. Everybody knows Limbaugh is way too fat to fit on an airplane. Good job, Jack!

Jack Jodell said...

Truth101,
Thanks for your passion, your thoroughness, and for actually reading the whole thing. I'm sure a number of others shared your feelings. I hereby promise never to do this again!
---------------
Max's Dad,
I love it---Limbaugh too fat to fly on a plane---LOL!!!!

Suzan said...

Never fooled me for a second, my friend.

And although I had written "April Fools" as the topic of my own essay for that day (different kind of fooling going on there), it never occurred to me that that was what you were doing.

I just kept checking the address bar to see how I'd been misdirected.

Good one!

S

Jack Jodell said...

Suzan,
I had a good chuckle at the fact that you had to check out your address bar. Thank you, and don't worry---THIS progressive won't EVER misdirect you onto the wrong road! :-)

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

ah, I still don't have health insurance and I'm tweet-iphoneing this from the icu recovery after the heart failure your entry has triggered~!

ambulance chasing assholes are trying to convince me to join the 'class action' they assembling against you. Cohort, Bunghole & Shafter are on to you Jack. I'm not listening... but baby
You make laugh my fucking ass off.

[Serves me right for being so absent so long!]