Thursday, July 30, 2009


Earlier in the week I featured a series of thoughtful quotes by progressives, liberals, and Democrats. In the interest of fairness and providing equal time, I now feature a series of revealing quotes this time by conservatives, neocons, and Republicans. These should provide all voters serious food for thought come election time. Unlike the progressive quotes featured earlier (whose profound insight and wisdom was readily apparent), this batch requires additional explanation, which I have provided in editorial fashion following each spolesperson's quote. Enjoy!

"Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life."
- Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT) -

"Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement."
- Former Vice President Dan Quayle -
and by moronic free-market deregulators like you, Quayle. Potatoes, anyone?

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly the VP does every day?"
- Sarah Palin -
if you have to ask, you'll never know, you stupid little girl!

"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
- Former President George W. Bush -
you'd screw up a wet dream, pal...

"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."
- Jerry Falwell -
I guess it takes one to know one, Jerry boy...

"Trees cause more air pollution than automobiles."
- Former President Ronald Reagan -
I think that Alzheimer's of yours started long before you entered office...

"So many minority youths volunteered, that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself."
- Former Texas Representative Tom DeLay (on why he never fought in Vietnam) -
great example of a snooty condescending attitude toward brave minority soldiers who DID fight and die in the war, and also a big lie...

"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
- Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld -
in case you still haven't figured it out, Rummy, NORMAL people don't jump for joy at war like you do.

"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage - if conceivably it was gone, we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."
- Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) -
yup, and you'd be the first in line to apply for one of those marvelous $1.45 per hour "whatever level" jobs that would spring up, wouldn't you, Bachmann? What a foolish, elitist hypocrite you are. Somebody PLEASE get this imbecile some Immodium AD for that brain and flapping mouth of hers!

"God is the one who chooses our rulers."
- Katherine Harris, on George W. Bush becoming President -
and that's why you lost your Senate bid, and your party lost control of Congress and the White House, right, Harris? Stop talking like an idiot!

"The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them."
- Rush Limbaugh -
stupid is as stupid says and does, Limbaugh. We've had just about enough of your blathering, pseudo-tough guy talk. You're a cruel, cold-hearted blowhard bully, and a total WIMP to boot.

"Time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- Dan Quayle -
and what galaxy are you speaking from, Mr. former VP? I guess a guy who can't even spell potato doesn't know much astronomy either...

"President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, and President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a much broader scale."
Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales -
tell us something we didn't already know, Fredo. We learned that a long time ago by watching reruns of Plato's old TV show from ancient Greece...NOT! FREDO, YOU ARE A MORON!

"I am the federal government."
- Tom DeLay -
no you're NOT, and you never were, you delusional and egomaniacal little boy!

[resident Obama has] "a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture."
- Glenn Beck -
sure, Glenn, with Obama having been raised by a white mother and white grandparents in a white family. The only "deep-seated hatred" I see here is YOURS, Beck: hatred for minorities, for truth, and for common decency. Protozoa are more civilized than you, Beck.

"We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say."
- Ann Coulter -
by becoming the type of vicious and intolerant person YOU are, Coulter? Or by practicing your hateful, exclusionary, spiteful brand of Christianity? No thanks---I'll take Jews just as they are right now!

"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."
- Former President Ronald Reagan -
now THERE'S a thoughtful, forward-looking President! Sounds like Dick Cheney, speaking of whom:

"I had other priorities in the '60s than military service."
- Former Vice President Dick Cheney -
sure you did, Dick. That's why you made up for it in 2003 by starting an illegal war for profit and plunder in Iraq. Now THAT'S a patriot! An arrogant, self-serving one who cut and ran before he even got his draft notice, but a patriot nonetheless. NOT!!!

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
- Former President George W. Bush -
and YOUR family, buddy boy, produced nothing but a nightmare for our nation and the whole world!

"...merciless rivers rush and carve and remind us that Mother Nature wins. The big, wild and good life teeming along that road leads north to the future."
- Sarah Palin -
and some want her to become President! Palin, please do our language, rational thought, our nation, and the world a huge favor and JUST SHUT UP!!!!!


Vigilante said...

Sorry, Jack. Just can't face up to wading through this today.... It's just ... too much .... pathos and pathology ... for words ...

Jack Jodell said...

Yeah, brilliance like this kinda brings tears to one's eyes, doesn't it? :)

Max's Dad said...

That's a whole lot of dumb there,Jack. Remember when Ahhhhnold Schwarzenegger told Flathead Hannity "I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman"? That was a hoot too.

Jack Jodell said...

Yeah, I'll never understand the conservative Republican mind; that these guys can be so narrow-minded, yet cocksure they're right and the rest of the world is wrong. I had a GOP friend who used to say "I was a Democrat, then I got educated." To which I promptly replied, "that's very nice, but can you tell me then why most educators and college professors vote Democratic?" He was flustered and flabbergasted, and I've never heard him make THAT smart-ass statement again!

Vigilante said...

Good one, Jack.

I'll remind you that a flawlessly working definition of a conservative: One who worships old, dead liberals.

Marc McDonald said...

Nice collection of right-wing quotes.
One of the most chilling wingnut quotes I can recall is one made by that sack-of-sh*t Nazi, Michael Savage.

In September 2000, Savage was discussing a program in which students volunteer to distribute sandwiches to the homeless in San Francisco, when he let loose this tirade, (which is creepy on so many different levels, you could write a book about it):

"The girls from Branson can go in and maybe get raped ... because they seem to like the excitement of it. There's always the thrill and possibility they'll be raped in a Dumpster while giving out a turkey sandwich."

Vigilante said...

Light weight stuff.

None of these approach CBS Golf Analyst David Feherty's comments, as documented by Marc on Beggars Can Be Choosers, that Pelosi should be shot (twice) and Obama strangled.

Come on.

Jack Jodell said...

Vig and Marc,
Thanks for the contributions, guys. They are typical examples of the cold-heartedness (absolute zero!) of the far right in this country, and why those elements must never gain full political power.